the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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