I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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