its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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