living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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