my mouth tastes like poor choices
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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