guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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