drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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