I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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