Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
