I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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