hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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