i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
