New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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