i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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