Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
