i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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