Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
