I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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