People in love make me want to vomit
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
