Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize