You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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