i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize