i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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