I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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