i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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