just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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