oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
