I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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