IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize