you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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