i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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