Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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