...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
