Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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