i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize
