Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
