Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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