im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
