It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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