I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My pussy is not your playground.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
