At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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