i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
