careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Two words: blizzard sex
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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