My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
