there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
