thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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