3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
