The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
