I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize