i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
