Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
