You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
