ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
