you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
