I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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