Jerry, you need to find god
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
